In all my years, I’ve only ever liked four people. Two of those turned into love. All were fails. It’s not that I’m very picky; it’s just that I like what I like… whatever that happens to be at the time. I want what I want. And when I want someone, I want ONLY that person. It sounds cute and sweet and hopelessly romantic-y.
But it’s really trash. I would change it if I could, but I can’t. Soooo I’m stuck. Literally and figuratively, I’m always stuck. SMH. Anyway, recently, I got an almost chance with one of my serious crushes from 2012. YUP, I’ve spent four years liking this person.
I just about died from excitement because I NEVER thought I’d have a chance with this one. This one was spectacular. He was beautiful and just… perfect. He was unlike anything I had ever come across before, inside and out. Just, gosh… I can’t. And I’m not even being biased, y’all. These are just straight facts.
If pretty little red hearts could come out of my eyes while discussing this, they would. This one was everything. Sadly, “was” is the key word here. But anyway, you know when you like someone and start fantasizing about how awesome he or she is? You get yourself all excited for no reason? That’s me.
I was over there, telling myself, “This one is perfect. We are going to be perfect. We are going to go on amazing dates, and do amazing things and be amazing together. Maybe not forever, but at least for a while.”
Oh, the lies I told myself. Who said it would even go that far? And OF COURSE, it didn’t. It lasted about a month or two. Another fail. I always laugh at myself, but in reality, it was slightly crushing, earth-shattering and catastrophic. It was a tragedy. (Just a slight one, though.)
So anyway, when almost-bae stopped texting me, I HAD to come up with an excuse: Something HAD to have happened. Because in all my years of dating, no one has just stopped liking me out of the blue. I must be losing my swag, or… nah. It’s not me. It can’t be. I hope. These are lies I’m STILL telling myself. Or maybe there’s someone else. I can handle it being someone else.
So, here are the excuses I came up with when I never got a text back:
1. Maybe he died. .
2. Maybe his phone got lost.
3. Maybe kids took it.
4. Maybe it flew out of the window.
5. Maybe birds took it.
6. Maybe all the numbers got wiped out randomly.
7. Maybe the text didn’t deliver. (Never mind the fact that it clearly shows “delivered” right under the message.)
8. Maybe he’s just busy.
9. Extremely busy.
10. Maybe his phone crashed.
11. Forget it: Maybe it’s me.
12. Maybe my phone is broken.
13. Maybe I’m not getting texts.
14. Maybe only my mom’s texts are coming to my phone.
15. And my grandma’s. Only my mom and grandma’s texts are getting through.
16. And bill reminders. I’m getting those texts, too.
17. I need to make an appointment with the Apple Store because my phone is rejecting texts; I’m sure of it.
18. Maybe I didn’t pay my bill.
19. I need a new phone.
20. Oooh oooh, I know! My dog accidentally deleted the response.
21. My dog ate the response?
22. The text didn’t deliver. My phone lied.
I guess this happened to teach me not everyone I like will like me back. What a hard lesson to learn at such an old age. I have to learn it, though, because these lies I’ve been telling myself are ridiculous. Or actually… nah. My text didn’t deliver. I’ll stick to that.