Here’s Why You Should Never Apologize For Your Past Relationships

by Ike Obudulu Posted on February 5th, 2017

Romantic relationships are jam-packed, full of elevated highs, serious lows, extreme happiness and, of course, tremendous sadness from time to time.

Based on the fact 99.9 percent of the human population does not replicate perfection, genuine and straightforward apologies are an imperative component of life.

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The words “I’m sorry” are undoubtedly two little, but very powerful and influential words. However, there are certain circumstances in which they should not be part of our vocabulary.

Although the words “I’m sorry” may allow you to release the guilt you’ve been holding onto, the blame you’ve been sitting on or the remorse you’ve been feeling, the phrase isn’t always necessary.

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It is vital to understand you should not be ashamed of your past. Despite this, people are often apprehensive about telling their better half about their past relationships.

Whether the topic of conversation is about whom they’ve slept with, whom they’ve dated or whom they played tonsil hockey with that one time back in college, many partners want to know about even though it really isn’t any of their business.

It’s time to channel your inner Beyoncé and say “I ain’t sorry” for your past relationships.

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Let’s come to terms with the fact tormenting a loved one based on their past is utterly absurd and purely insulting.

In fact, in more cases than not, these actions stem from the accuser’s own insecurities and lack of self-confidence. Your past is exactly that: your past!

Every single human being to ever walk the planet Earth has a past, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

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Bringing up someone’s history is a manipulation tactic used by an accuser and is a selfish tool used in order to gain power and influence over your life.

I would even go as far to define it as a small form of exploitation.

However, accusers should understand all they’re doing is putting themselves in agony.

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Those who are unable to let go of someone else’s past are immature with little to no understanding of what characterizes a well-functioning adult.

There is nothing more aggravating than when one someone says, “I’ve been burned in the past, therefore, I have issues trusting my existing girlfriend/boyfriend.”

Get. Over. It. And. Get. Over. Yourself.

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If you wish to characterize every male or female as a cheater because back in elementary school you were cheated on by your crush who is now someone you haven’t spoken to or seen in a dozen, two dozen or three dozen years, be my guest.

But good luck with ever being able to develop a functioning romantic relationship.

Over-apologizing originates from being too hard on ourselves and beating ourselves up over our pasts.

When we feel shameful or full of guilt, we tend to apologize in an attempt to reassure the other person.

The issue with this? We begin to secure our role of someone who is actually worthy of blame when in reality, we are NOT.

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Your past is truly what forms you into the individual you are today. By abiding by these manipulation tactics and apologizing for something that does not exist, you are devaluing your own self-worth, especially as a partner.

You will find yourself stooping down to their level in an attempt to avoid any potential conflict or relationship disruption. This is not the way to live or go about your relationship.

Relationships are far from a pleasant walk in the park. It takes hard word, extreme dedication and, of course, the occasional compromise.

Having your partner manipulate you into feeling negatively about your past relationships is in bad form on their part. In fact, it shows their true character.

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

Author

Ike Obudulu

Ike Obudulu

Versatile Certified Fraud Examiner, Chartered Accountant, Certified Internal Auditor with an MBA in Finance And Investments who has both worked for and consulted with some of the world's largest companies on main street and wall street in over 20 countries, Ike brings his extensive reporting and investigations experience to bear on his role as Chief Editor.
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