When is comes to relationships, I always use the image and metaphor of a bridge to describe them. Imagine yourself walking across this bridge and stopping half way.
Healthy relationships are the ones that require only that much effort because the other person meets you there too.
But oftentimes, in unhealthy relationships or ‘almost relationships’ or hookups or just friends, a lot of people find themselves walking across the entire bridge just to meet someone who won’t even take a step closer.
It’s every first text and yeah it’s nice if he answered but it would be a lot nicer if he made that move. It’d be nicer if you didn’t have to wonder. It’d be nicer if you didn’t have to think twice about it.
It’d be nice if he gave you confidence instead of doubt.
It’s social media being a pawn in some game. Every like or snap or view or share. And you get excited over something so simple but you shouldn’t.
More than anything, you should expect a response every time and not always be the one initiating contact.
It’s you making the effort to see him while he’s telling you when or where. It’s everything being planned according to his schedule.
And I know you like him, I know you care about him and I know want it to work out which is why you put so much effort into it.
But the thing is, you should never give more than you’re getting.
You shouldn’t have to feel you need to earn a place in his life or his heart. It should come effortlessly.
If it was the right relationship you wouldn’t have to wonder if it is. But you want it to be something. You want him to care as much as you do.
Maybe he does care a little. Maybe he likes the attention. Maybe he likes seeing how fast you respond, even though he didn’t answer you for days. Everyone likes knowing someone cares but not everyone shows they do but you have to read those signs.
You have to stop only reading the signs you want to.
Then you have to act accordingly.
So if you’re in the position where you’re already trying too hard and you’ve already walked well across that bridge and he’s used to it, be strong now and step back. Stop trying. Stop doing so much. Ignore him and pretend he doesn’t exist. Because the only people who should exist in your world are the ones who make an effort and make you feel better, not worse.
You can’t like someone enough, that they like you back.
And the more you try and the more you do for him, the less respect he’ll have for someone who doesn’t respect themselves
You’ll never be with someone who doesn’t respect you and you’ll never have a relationship if you don’t start respecting yourself.
I know it hurts to let someone go. And maybe you run in circles and have history but that ends now.
Because what if you’re the only one holding on? You’ll only learn that if you see what happens when you let go.
I challenge you to treat him the way he treats you and watch what will happen.
He’ll either go away or change his behavior.
If he ignored one of your texts, don’t answer until he sends two.
If he sends you a snap, don’t even bother opening it.
If he wants to see you, tell him where you’ll be and don’t change your plans.
If he cancels on you even once. End it.
The bottom line is about self-respect and if you want a man to respect you and treat you well, you gotta treat yourself the same way first.
If you walk halfway across that bridge and he’s not there waiting for you, turn around. Don’t even bother waiting.
It’s the same distance to go back to where you started, as it is to go to him. The only difference between these two directions is one way is towards self-respect and the other way is towards desperation.
So choose wisely.