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Reminder: You Are Not An Option

by Kim Boateng Last updated on August 26th, 2017,
Evan Kirby
Evan Kirby

We’ve all been there.

We’ve wanted something so bad that we almost lose a little self-respect or dignity to get it.

Most of the time we don’t even realize we’re doing it.

Whether it was turn the other cheek to something we know is a red flag or pretend to be okay with something we’re clearly not in order to continue being liked.

I’m not just talking romantic relationships, because I find we do this in our friendships as well as our careers. We allow ourselves to be someone else’s option when they are clearly our priority.

You deserve better than that because there is only one of you.

This means, out of the other 7.5 billion human beings on this planet, you are the only one that thinks like you, looks like you and believes the things you believe in.

You my friend, are a one of a kind package. A literal 1 in a 7.5 billion shot. So start acting like it. If a guy tells you they’re not sure if they want to be with you, take it as a no. Their indecisiveness is a decision. Keep your head held high and give him something to look at as you walk away. When he realizes everything you had to offer is not found with anyone else, he will be back. He will tell you all the things you knew the moment you met him.

He will tell you that nobody makes him laugh like you, nobody understands him like you and my personal favorite, nobody makes him feel like the way you do. It’ll be at this point that you second guess yourself. Do not. He made a decision to let you walk away.

Thank him for the kind words but explain to him that’s all it is. If he wants to fight for you, let him.

You’re onto bigger and better things.

If you have friendships in your life that allow you to feel anything less than loved and valued, let them go. I don’t care how cool that person is seen by others. You’re better than that and life is too short to surround yourself by people that are fake and shallow or that don’t respect the person you are or choose to be.

Robin Williams said it himself, “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

It’s up to us to find the people who make our lives feel the fullest of love and laughter. Then you figure out which of those friends would walk on fire for you and which ones you’d return that favor for. Those are the friends you hold onto for dear life. You’re going to need them.

I know for myself, my best friends are not the people who necessarily make me laugh the most but are the people I feel safest with when I’m most vulnerable. If I can cry in front of you and trust you’re going to be kind and gentle with me, you’re my people and I have learned never to take these people for granted.

Finally, I need you to know that your career doesn’t define you. Never try to fold yourself to fit a mold that you assume you need to fit in order to be successful or well respected. You do not need to act a certain way to get where you want to be. What you need to be is 100% authentic and true to yourself.

Keep in mind that sometimes what we think we want isn’t what’s meant to be. As hard as it is to accept, it’s the hard truth. If we follow our instincts and stay true to who we are, the right job, career and love will find us. We just need to be open to it.

I’ve been told that if you do what you love, everything else falls into place. I believe that with my whole heart.

Just make sure that at the end of the day, you remember you are not an option. You are a force to be reckoned with.

Author

Kim Boateng

Kim Boateng

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2 comments

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