When you tell her that you aren’t ready for a relationship, all she hears is that she isn’t what you want. That she’s not enough to convince you to give up the single life.
Don’t expect her to wait until you’re ready to accept her love. Because, by the time you realize that she deserves to have your heart, her love for you isn’t going to exist anymore. It’s going to be directed at someone else — someone that was ready for her.
She’s not going to watch you date other girls while she sits on the sidelines and waits for you to mature. Waits for you to empty the baggage off your back. Waits for you to get used to the idea of monogamy.
She knows her worth. She knows that if you claim you aren’t ready for a relationship, you’re either going to intentionally or unintentionally hurt her. That you might keep her around for the sax, for the friendship, or for the ego boost, but that you’re not going to change your mind.
She knows you’re not going to realize that she deserves a real chance — at least, not before breaking her heart.
If you have to take some time piece your life together before settling down, that’s fine. But don’t ask her to wait for you. Don’t expect her to put her entire life on hold just in case you wake up one day and decide you’re ready to be the man she’s earned.
Think about it: What if she does wait, if she turns down every other guy that shows interest, and you end up changing your mind about her? What if you’re never ready to be with her? What if you’re the reason she lost out on the opportunity to meet her soulmate?
If you actually give a crap about her, but you aren’t ready for a real relationship, then don’t kiss her. Don’t sleep with her. Don’t flirt with her.
Don’t make her believe that she might become your girlfriend if she plays her cards right when you know the deck is stacked against her. Don’t anchor her down with false hope.
If you’re meant to be, maybe you’ll cross paths again in the future when you’re both ready for a relationship. When the timing is right.
But for now, don’t keep holding onto her when you know you want different things. When she wants every part of you and you only want her body. Her occasional company.
She deserves to be with someone that’s ready to commit to her and only her. Ready to say goodbye to all the other girls. Ready to give her every single sliver of his soul.
So if you’re not ready for a relationship, don’t give her a reason to think you’re lying. That it’s only a matter of time until you change your mind because your feelings for her are so strong.
Don’t encourage her to wait around, because waiting is a subtle form of heartbreak.
So, please, let her go. Don’t hurt her more than you already have.