She’s Been Crying Over You But That Doesn’t Mean She’s Weak

by Kim Boateng Last updated on February 17th, 2018,
Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

Her tears aren’t a sign of weakness. They’re a sign of fearlessness.

Some people don’t have the strength to fall. They hover on the edge of cliffs, afraid of the drop, afraid of what will happen if they let themselves hope they’ll be caught when they reach the bottom.

But she already took the leap — into your world, into your core. She expected you to be waiting there, to return everything she was willing to give you, but you let her down. You disappointed her. You destroyed the trust hidden inside of her.

So now, all she can do is cry. Cry about the way you’ve been treating her. Cry about how she believed this boy would be different. Cry about everything you aren’t and everything she isn’t.

But most of those tears aren’t about you. They’re about shedding her old self and blossoming anew.

She doesn’t cry out of bitterness or anger or even loss. She doesn’t cry over the past, even though the past is what’s been playing on a loop in her mind. She might not realize it yet, but she’s been crying over the future she lost and the new future she has to create.

She doesn’t know what she’s meant to do next, what the universe has in store for her, so she cries out of confusion. Should she delete your number from her phone? Should she try to patch things up with you? Should she go out with her friends and get plastered or should she crawl under the covers until sleep suffocates her?

She doesn’t know which path would make the most sense for her travels. She doesn’t know what will lead her to happiness and what will lead her to ruin.

She needs to make a choice, but it isn’t an easy one. It’s difficult, complex, because it involves staying or leaving. Pining over you or getting over you. But, with enough time and tears, she’ll figure it out. She’ll choose her own destiny.

And during the process, she shouldn’t feel bad about those teardrops. They aren’t something to hide behind closed doors and pillowcases. They aren’t a sign that she made a mistake, that she’s a bleep-up, that she needs to get herself together.

They’re a sign that she’s growing. That she’s maturing. That she’s becoming comfortable with her emotions and, in turn, is becoming comfortable as a woman.

Because strong women aren’t afraid to cry. They don’t build brick walls to keep the feelings away. They open up windows, high and wide, to let the emotions inside. Because feeling is the only way you’re going to realize what you want, what you need, what you are.

Feeling is the only way you’re going to discover your truth.

Never look at tears as a sign of weakness again, because they’re fallen fragments of beauty. And they’re helping women everywhere forge the life that they deserve.

The kind of life that will replace red eyes with bright eyes.

Author

Kim Boateng

Kim Boateng

With a Degree in Environmental Sciences, Kim the self professed jack of all trades and master of some simply "goes there" and brings a level of attention and detail to Nigeria Circle's quest for excellence in investigative journalism that sets her apart. Before journalism she worked in Safety, Quality Assurance and Control in several industries.
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