Negging takes bad pick up lines to the next level.
The term “negging” originated from the book “The Game,” written by investigative reporter Neil Strauss on how to pick up women.
In the book, Strauss describes Negging as discreetly undermining a women’s self-esteem so that she’ll hang around to fight for your approval.
This goes all the way back to the playground days, when girls were told if a boy teased you, it meant he liked you. And now, those boys are all grown up, and instead of poking you, they will take straight jabs at your self-esteem.
A neg usually comes in the form of a backhanded compliment. But whatever form it comes in, negging is essentially emotional abuse and not a cute way of flirting.
It’s important to recognize healthy and unhealthy ways of teasing someone. The best way to deal with negging depends entirely on who is doing the negging and what type of neg it is.
So here are three different types of negging along with the perfect ways to shut them down:
The culturally offensive neg
This neg is usually saxist or racist, an example being, “You’re funny for a girl.”
The best way to deal with this neg is to blatantly call them out. If you laugh it off, you’re telling this person what they said is OK.
After you school this ignorant person, immediately leave the situation or give your attention to someone else. The type of person who uses this neg simply doesn’t deserve your time.
The “trying to change you” neg
Any type of repetitive neg that takes a jab at who you are as a person is basically that person trying to hint that you should change. This can be about anything from your body to your style to your friend group.
The best way to respond to this neg is to firmly embrace what they see as your flaw. Showing you love what they hate is just a subtle way to say, “Fuck you.”
The perfectly playful neg
Yes, there is actually a less serious, not-that-offensive neg. This type of neg is usually lighthearted in nature and sometimes even self-deprecating as well.
If someone hits on you with a perfectly playful neg, the best way to respond is to throw one back. Someone who’s witty and respectful enough to perfect the playful neg usually wants someone who can keep up.
Lots of guys say girls like assholes, and unfortunately, negging serves to prove that point. But if you know what type of negs to look out for and how to respond, you can stay on top of your game and shut down the negs when you see them.