I vaguely remember getting into trouble this one time in class when we decided to skip nap time. Everyone else was napping and I decided not to. I’m sure he had his reasons but it didn’t matter because we got the same punishment, no afternoon snacks.
Well, we did eat but only after everyone else was finished with theirs. That was our first meal together.
We went as far back as four years old and we broke up sixteen years later in college. So believe me when I say that I understand how much you need closure.
Because I did too. Until I realized his silence was as good as his closure could get. And I’m okay with that.
Maybe his silence is his way of saying he needs time. Maybe he needs space. Maybe he met someone and didn’t have the courage to tell you because that’s how much of a coward he is. Or maybe, just maybe, he just simply doesn’t care anymore.
One thing I’m sure of is, your whole world doesn’t need to revolve around him.
You know how sometimes you get so lost in a book that you get oblivious to the fact that there exists a world outside those pages? And you know how you flip through the very last pages looking for some sort of continuation to the unacceptable fact that it really is over?
Some books leave you so dumbfounded that it takes a while to believe that it really is over.
Breakups are like that. It takes a lot out of you to believe that all those years of movie dates, conversations over a cup of coffee, long drives and hours of phone conversations are over.
You only need closure because you’re thinking of all the what if’s. You want to know what’s going to happen next. Does he need time? Will he ever come back? Or are you going to one day wake up to a photo of him with another girl?
You need closure because like every book, you need to know if it really is the last chapter so that you can finally close it, set it down and move on.
But the thing is, you have to close the book some time eventually. Stop waiting for him because every minute you spend waiting for him is time you could have spent working on yourself.
There exists a world outside of him. There’s you and an endless road of possibility and opportunities ahead.
He isn’t the whole world, just a part of it.
Remember this: love, no matter how silly and imperfect it is, will never fail. True love, that is. So if yours failed, then maybe it wasn’t love after all. Maybe it was just a huge wave of feelings that came rushing over the both of you much like a tsunami. And like every tsunami, it dies down. Love is more than just feelings. Love doesn’t die out.
Don’t make room for someone who didn’t even bother to say goodbye.
So here’s an idea, while you’re getting over that last book you recently set down. Why not build up an even stronger and more beautiful version of yourself? Learn a new instrument, earn money for future adventures, volunteer your time for free to those who need it, declutter your life.
And when you’re finally ready, maybe you can open another book. And this time, maybe it’ll have a better ending.