Let me start by saying, this letter isn’t for you. Oh, no. No, this letter is not for you, but a necessary step I need to take, for me.
Because the latter was a lie.
Not just a lie you told me, but a lie you continuously told yourself.
All the words of love and admiration, all the words of encouragement and support, were cancelled out the second you put me down. None of the good things were real because in the same breath you said “I love you”, you also told me I was worthless. And so the former became obsolete. An oxymoron. Because you cannot, in fact, love someone and destroy them . It is not a possibility. It does not exist.
A lot of things in this life are painful. Love is not one of them. And so through the process of healing, I have had to come to accept a very real and harsh truth.
You never loved me.
Am I still angry? Yes. But not at you. I’m angry with myself for not leaving you the first time. Or the second, or the third. I let this happen. I let you have my heart, knowing one day you could throw it in the trash. My downfall was my hope, my willful blindness, my lack of love for myself.
This letter isn’t for you.
This letter is for me.
To remind myself of my worth. To help me heal from my self-inflicted wounds. You showed me who you really are and I stayed time and time again. That was my choice.
So I leave you with gratitude. Thank you for leaving me, broken and bruised. This experience has taught me to never ignore someone when they show their true colors. I can say with confidence that I will NEVER let this happen with anyone ever again.
Good luck with your life.
I’m going to shine on.