I know it’s hard to wrap your head around it. The fact that this person who you used to share your darkest secrets to, is now gone. The fact that this person who used to hold you and catch your tears before they even fell to the floor, is now gone.
It is torture. Laying in the same bed where they used to make love to you. Laying in the same bed where this person used to brush your hair back from your face and look at you with a facial expression that only you could understand. It is torture. Being in the same room where this person used to tell you that they loved you.
But that is what you need to accept. They used to love you. They used to adore you. They do not love you anymore.
And although they used to be yours, they aren’t yours any longer. And maybe you were never theirs in the first place.
I know it feels like gun wounds. I know it truly feels like death. You’re spending half your day wondering how the hell do people do this? How the hell do people get over the one person who they thought would be ‘it’? How the hell do they deal with this pain that feels like knives are being planted into their lungs every time they breathe?
How do people survive this type of disease that has no cure?
The truth is, while there is no cure for you, there is time. There are friends. There are new experiences. There are new opportunities.
And there are better people out there.
There is someone for you, who is better in the way that they will treat you. Maybe they won’t look the same, or speak the same, or act the same. Maybe they won’t have the same hobbies, or the same color hair or eyes. And it will take time to not want to compare and contrast. It will take time to not want the one who let you go.
But there is someone out there who would never ever dare leave you.
You are pining after someone who has already left, someone who has stomped on your heart and has left you alone. You are pining after someone who has taken advantage of what you have to give. Who has taken advantage of the love that you offered them.
They decided to let you go. They decided you weren’t worth it. They decided that you weren’t enough for their tiny heart.
But my dear, you are enough. You are worth it. You’re just worthy of a better love. Of a love that doesn’t go. Of a love that stays and of a love who acknowledges beauty in everything that you do.
So, you’re right. You aren’t worthy of their love. You aren’t enough for their love. Because their love is weak. Their love is small and mediocre. Their love is minuscule compared to yours.
Your love is bright. Your love is bold. Your love is never ending. Your love is selfless. And you deserve someone who would never want to let that go. Someone who would never have left in the first place.