You didn’t knock at my door or call me to talk over the phone after all these months of silence. Instead I got a notification from you. I could laugh over the thought of it, honestly, how pathetic it is.
You just decided one day, on your own, that you were done with me. That you thought it would be best if we just went our separate ways. You just decided that you no longer wanted to be part of my life or have anything to do with me, and you left. Just like that.
You never gave me an explanation, you never said “sorry,” you never said anything at all actually. You just disappeared from my life, like all those years together meant nothing. I don’t get it, and I don’t think I ever will.
No excuse or explanation that comes out of your mouth will make up for the distance and silence that has grown between us because if you can’t tell, I’m still mad as hell.
I’m mad as hell because you made a decision that affected the both of us all on your own. You didn’t consider what I wanted, you just thought you were doing what was best for you, or maybe for both of us. I guess I’ll never know.
But today, you decided to come out of nowhere. You decided that you wanted to make yourself a presence in my life again after all the unread messages and unanswered phone calls.
Hate to break it to you, but it doesn’t work like that.
You can’t just decide that all the sudden you want to come back into my life. You can’t just decide you want to reach out in the middle of the afternoon and think things will just go back to the way they used to be. That’s not going to happen. You were important to me, until you proved how little I actually mattered when you just suddenly dropped me out of no where from your life.
You don’t just get to come back into my life and think I’ll welcome you back with open arms because you know I still miss you.
I might miss you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to just give in. It doesn’t mean I’m going to be okay with you coming back into my life after all this time because I’m not. I don’t know how I could be. You coming back into my life would just ruin all the progress I’ve made on my own without you.
So no. You don’t get to just come back into my life, not this time because I respect myself more than that. I respect myself more than just letting you decide to come and go from my life when you please. I don’t have anymore room for temporary people.
You don’t get to come back and look for comfort if your relationship is falling apart, you don’t get to come back and look for support if you’re trying to chase your dreams, you don’t get to come back and look for the love I used to give you. Whatever triggered you to come back to me – I don’t want any part of it. You ruined it, you burned the bridges and I’m not there for you anymore.
I’m sorry, but you don’t get to walk back into my life when it’s convenient for you. That’s not how it works. You can’t just show up and expect everything to be okay.
Because it’s not.