Sologamy: No Prince Charming, So Italian Woman Laura Mesi “Marries Herself”

by Kim Boateng Posted on September 27th, 2017

A lovelorn Italian woman has broken with tradition by ‘marrying herself’. Laura Mesi dressed in a white gown and was joined by 70 family and friends for the self-marriage ceremony, which is not legally recognised. She paid for the €10,000 (£8,700) wedding herself and had a cake made – with a figurine of just her on top of it. Ms Mesi even went on honeymoon to Egypt – by herself.

The fitness trainer says she began exploring the possibility of marrying herself following the end of a 12-year relationship in 2015. Following her break-up, Ms Mesi promised to wed herself if she didn’t find the perfect partner by her 40th birthday.

She hasn’t ruled out eventually marrying another person, but says her happiness does not depend on finding a man.

“I told friends and family that if I had not found my soul-mate by my 40th birthday I would marry myself. If one day I find a man with whom I can plan a future I’ll be happy, but my happiness does not depend on him. I firmly believe that each of us must first of all love ourselves. You can have a fairytale even without the prince. This is my fairytale wedding – only without a Prince Charming,” She said.

Self-marriage, or sologamy, is a growing trend among singletons, with ceremonies conducted in countries from Australia to the Netherlands.

A woman named Linda Baker was apparently the first person to marry herself in the US back in 1993 as a celebration of her 40th birthday.

She pledged to be good to herself witnessed by seven bridesmaids and 75 family and friends.  She wanted to celebrate something at that time in her life and felt that a marriage ceremony was the way to do it.  Linda explained “It’s about doing things for yourself and not waiting around for someone else to make it happen”.

There was an episode of Sax and the City that aired in 2003 when Carrie Bradshaw played by Sarah Jessica Parker, announced that she was marrying herself.

The catalyst for her decision was that while she was happy to celebrate her friends’ life choices – she complained that they never celebrated her choosing to be single and childless.

Jennifer Hoes, a 30-year-old artist, took her own hand in matrimony when she married herself in the Netherlands in 2003 – the same year as the Sax and the City episode, and her marriage received a lot of publicity which could explain how it has gradually caught on.


Photo: Laura Mesi with her “bridesmaids”

Since then there have been increasing reports of single women (it seems to be more women than men) marrying themselves in the UK as well as in Australia, Canada, the Netherlands, Taiwan and the USA.

In 2015, British PR consultant Sophie Tanner wed herself in Brighton after escaping a bad relationship.

Author Sophie Tanner explained how she made the ultimate commitment to herself in May 2015 after she wrote a book on the subject.

Her novel, Happily tells the story of a young woman who ends up marrying herself and the author found that the more she investigated the concept the more intrigued she was, and came to the conclusion it suited her own situation.

Sophie decided to marry herself  in a ceremony in Brighton “as a gesture of solidarity” and says it means she can “make myself happy without needing anyone else to make me complete”.

Sologamy is not recognised in Europe or the US as a legally binding union.

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Kim Boateng

Kim Boateng

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