Naples, Florida. According to Captain Henri White, spokesman of the Naples Police Department, 24-year old zoo keeper, Jimmy Olsen was engaged in full s***al in****ourse with a 12 foot long alligator, when he was surprised by one of the larger alligators named Brutus which attacked from behind. Jimmy Olsen was killed this morning in the alligator enclosure of the Naples Zoo.
The young man was caught by the throat by the larger alligator, who dragged him underwater and drowned him.
Jimmy Olsen’s death took place around 6:00 AM this morning, but his disappearance was noticed only an hour later by other employees. They finally discovered his dismembered body floating in the pool of the alligator enclosure around 8:30.
“The images captured by the security cameras show that Mr Olsen had clearly placed himself in a very vulnerable position,” Captain White told reporters. “He had his pants around his knees and was lying down on top of one the animals, with his back to the others. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance! We can see him being dragged in the water, then he disappears from sight. He was probably dead within thirty seconds of the attack.”
Jimmy Olsen had been working with the reptiles at Naples Zoo for the last two years, and was considered a reptile specialist. He was killed, by a 24-foot long male alligator named Brutus while he was engaged in saxual intercourse with one of the smaller specimens.
Photo: Jimmy Olsen
Although Mr. Olsen’s is the first zoo worker to die while having saxual intercourse with an animal, he is not the first one to be implicated in an incident implicating bestiality.
In 2002, three employees of the Columbus zoo were condemned, after it was revealed that the zookeepers allowed people into the zoo after business hours for the purpose of copulating with the animals
Recall a related incident in which:
Florida Man Caught Having Sax With Alligator He Kept Tied Up In His Backyard
Florida raises the stakes yet again. We’re used to seeing all kinds of bizarre poo going down there, but this one is pretty much unthinkable, just in terms of how practical it is.
The story revolves around a 59 year old guy called Rupert Darwin who lives in the sparsely populated Everglade City, which is home to roughly 400 people. Not really much of a city then.
Darwin lives in the outskirts, works as a fisherman and keeps himself to himself according to residents. They also describe him as odd, although I’m not really sure if anyone could have prepared them for how odd he actually turned out to be.
It transpired that Darwin had a 12 foot alligator tied up and blindfolded in his backyard and that he would regularly rape the animal multiple times a day. He was discovered after an unnamed nature hiker walked past his place and overheard the dirty deed going on – he also heard Darwin talking dirty to the alligator:
It was the darndest thing. I was performing a nature walk but I got a little off the beaten track when I got lost because my compass stopped working after I sat on it by accident.
I came across this wooden hut in the woods and was going to go in to ask them for directions when I heard someone shouting in the backyard.
I walked over there and heard Darwin growling: ‘next time you try to kill a man, you best get the job done. Now you’re my bitch forever.’
It was the damn strangest thing I’ve ever seen. The gator didn’t even move. It was like it didn’t give a poo that Darwin was having sax with it.
Needless to say I hightailed it out of there. It took me another seven hours to find a road without my compass but I’m still glad I didn’t go anywhere near that guy.
Hmm. Sounds like Darwin’s dirty talk wasn’t really doing it for the alligator. I mean it’s alright doing the whole 50 Shades Of Grey thing, but if you aren’t going to put any actual effort in then what’s the point?
Darwin was arrested following these revelations and was charged with multiple counts of animal cruelty as well as illegally keeping a wild animal. He pretty much admitted to all the charges and explained the situation during his police interview:
The gator had gotten a hold of my pant leg when I was fishing in a swamp and tried to drag me into the water. I was able to escape without injury, but I wanted revenge, pure and simple.
I don’t have no saxual attraction to gators, but I wanted to teach this bitch a lesson. I could have just killed her, but that would have been too easy. She was getting what she deserved.
I planned to chop off her tail and pull her teeth apart too. I was then going to torture her by playing nigger music at her over and and over again without stopping. Bitch.
Well, that sure is one hell of a revenge scheme isn’t it? Damn. I’m not sure if the alligator even gave a crap though because it just lay there completely still when Darwin was pumping his dick into her. Sounds like she didn’t even notice it to be honest, so it sounds like Darwin’s little scheme was a complete bust. Loser.
Darwin is probably going to jail for some time whilst the alligator is getting ready to be released back into the wild after being treated for minor injuries. No idea what she’ll get up to now she’s free again but I’m sure Darwin will be hoping she doesn’t come looking for revenge on him like he did. It doesn’t really sound like she was too bothered by the whole ordeal though so will probably just go back to attacking random rednecks